Tupper-fest 2011

Posted on 17 February, 2011 by Anne

Three months ago I couldn't get someone to sell me Tupperware to save my life. Now? Well to say that I am currently swimming in a vast sea of Tupperware would be an understatement. I feel sheepish, overwhelmed, excited, baffled and yet somehow content.

Basically, I feel like I've had an affair with Tupperware.

Some time ago I wrote about the relationship between sex and Tupperware after a co-worker quite famously proclaimed: "Tupperware is what you have when you're not having sex". And after having spent close to $800** on Tupperware in the last 2 months, I can safely say – yes. Yes it is.

And can I just say, that while my ability to please in the boudoir is potentially questionable, my ability to get excited and share a love of Tupperware is undeniable.

I could sell this shit. And I could sell it well.

My affair with Tupperware culminated in a recent trip to a Tupperware sales meeting with my lovely rep Elizabeth. Not only, did I somehow manage to walk away with even more free Tupperware – I got a tour of the factory and a taste of what the company is all about. Okay, so the world of the Tupperware dealer is pretty intense, but do you know what I like about it?

Anyone can do it.

Young, old, male, (although mostly) female, single, married, pierced, tattooed – anyone. All you need is the ability to be friendly and a passion for the product.

I really, really like that. And it is nowhere near as scary as Amway.

So is it the end of the affair? Hardly. Tupperware is the kind of lover that comes and goes, but always leaves you feeling content with a renewed vigour. You know, for portioning your meals and organising your fridge.

What can I say? I'm nesty. And a Tupperware catalog is my porn.

———

**It could be worse. It could be like that weekend I accidentally spent $400 on vibrators. Although frankly it's hard to know which products have been the most useful.

Transitions.

Posted on 22 November, 2009 by Anne

That shopping problem thing that I had. I haven't spoken about it for a while. Months in fact. So it is probably time for me to make a few notes. Now, if Friday night's booze fuelled impulse purchase of tickets to Good Vibrations (on my iPhone!) is anything to go by, I am not 'cured'. But come on, how could I say no to Salt'n'Pepper? And besides, The Universe clearly wanted my friend and I to have those tickets. I know this because It later saw fit to play Shoop at the pub. *cough*

But seriously, I think I have been doing fairly well. And now that I am living out of home and am forced to budget for things like food, I am shopping remarkably less. Although, I did just spend $80 on materials to make my costume for my housewarming. But lycra bodysuits need a lot of fabric, you know? And I am sure I will wear it again . . .

Actually if moving did anything for me it once again highlighted just how much crap I already have. Particularly clothes and accessories. I have a lot of those. Okay, so I have made more than one summer frock purchase, but these were not made in the same frenzied way that purchases were made prior to the GSD. And I am slowly taking on board the message of thrift – many of these frocks were purchased at Op Shops. It's hard not to shop when each season takes you on a journey to a new look. Last summer was all about the denim mini. This summer is all about the frocks. With an occasional denim mini, worn in a nautical way. So yes, I have shopped. But responsibly.

Indeed, I keep having all sorts of mini-victories where I look at and lust after things, and then put them back and walk away. It makes me feel so virtuous. Like when I find a fantastic frock at Lifeline and it costs $12. And do you know what? I even restrained myself when purchasing Tupperware. I DID NOT order the $50 Christmas Cookie containers. It was an agonising decision let me assure you.

So I am definitely not 'cured', but I think I am transitioning into a new phase where I've reintegrated responsible shopping into my life. Certainly it feels much less manic when I shop now. But I still love it . . .

And I Thought I Was Done With Puberty.

Posted on 1 July, 2009 by Anne

I am beginning to feel that I am regressing to my late teens. The proof? The last month has seen me experience/perpetrate the following:

Attack of the Killer Zits. Seriously. I have a couple of 'spots' near my mouth that appear to have planted their roots and are cultivating a family. The bastards just will not go away.
Organising to attend a Britney Spears concert
Over-consumption of liquor leading to a flood of vodka-sodden tears, which consequently got me disallowed from the Gold Coast Casino (!!).
Colouring my hair out of a packet.
Indulging in lustful thoughts. About 20-year-olds.
Running late to meet people because I have spent the morning 'taking care of business'.
Considering going off the Pill.
Out of control, mis-firing mojo.

I am yet to decide how I feel about this. I mean sure, I am only listing the silly things that I have been doing over the last month. There have been plenty of mature and life-changing epiphanies and activities in my financial and professional spheres. But the above list is long enough to be disturbing. The real question is – do I embrace my re-presenting 'youth', or do I beat her back into submission? Surely life is too short and I am far too young to be beating my 'youthfulness' into submission. But how many casinos do I need to be booted out of before enough is enough?

I'm not sure what is worse – being booted out of a venue when you're 26, or being booted out of a CASINO. They're supposed to let everyone in. The drunker the better – the lower ones capacity to keep hold of their money, the more desirable the customer. How embarrassment.

A Note on Younger Men.

Posted on 20 June, 2009 by Anne

(This post was discovered upon my waking this morning. I have made some slight alterations and additions – but you will be reading it mostly in its booze-fueled glory. I am actually rather impressed with my articulation. Go me!)

I'm not going to lie to you Internet, it is early in the morning and I'm drinking a big cup of Bailey's. But this topic of younger men is absolutely begging to be discussed. Hell, I've been discussing it with fellow single ladies all week.

It all began during a conversation with the lovely Lulu Lantanza, in which I made the comment/realisation that the only fellas that seem to be willing to have a crack at me these days are under 25. Not that I am complaining, there is a wonderful enthusiasm to them that simply cannot be ignored. Interestingly, Lulu has had similar experiences with younger men. Now, I am not going to beat around the bush. Lulu and I are incredibly fabulous, independent single ladies. We like being single but we feel the need for 'filler men'. You know, the ones that hang around on Sunday mornings and shag you rotten.

It would seem that our efforts to find men our age or older have been largely disappointed. And when discussing why with various single ladies in my life, we have come up with the following:

Men our age (mid to late twenties) are generally in relationships.
Single men older than us have been burned in past relationships, and are unwilling or unable to 'put themselves out there'.
When men our age become single, all of their friends are still in relationships, and they keep hanging around them waiting to be introduced to 'desperate' single friends (of which there are very few because people in relationships generally bore the hell out of us singletons).
Younger men are enthusiastic, appreciate the older woman, and have yet to be broken and made cynical and wary.

I did a stocktake of all the men I have crushed or have had tension/encounters with over the last 5 years, and was mildly disturbed to find that around 50% of them were at least three years younger than me. I cannot help but wonder if this is a reflection of my own tastes, or a reflection of men's age and their capacity to participate in the adventure that is 'Anne'.

When indulging in some boozy conversation with a man-friend recently, I asked the question – "am I too overwhelming for men?" The answer – "sometimes, but that's a part of your personality and you should not have to sacrifice that" (I cannot promise that quote is exact, but it is roughly right). This was another issue I discussed with Lulu, should we be dumbing it down?

We both know the answer to that is NO!! And we hate ourselves for even considering it. But our experience indicates that we should be doing that for the boys our age. Which is total bollocks.

So what is the answer? I am not sure. But as one of my single lady work mates said earlier in the week – "all young men need an older woman". If this is true then really we're just doing them a favour, right??

On a semi-related note, here is a wonderful clip from a wonderful show that I discovered earlier in the week. A glimpse into our futures perhaps?

Operation: FAIL.

Posted on 19 April, 2009 by Anne

There were two things I wanted to avoid this weekend – drinking and shopping. Let's just say that I failed in a truly spectacular fashion. After spending four hours at the airport DFO I have made a large dent in my yet-to-be-received tax bonus with my most exorbitant purchase being my first pair of skinny-leg jeans. Black and o-so-sexy. In order to celebrate these exciting new pants (and the level of self-confidence newly acquired that allowed me to even try them on!) it was deemed necessary to glam up and go to a pub for a couple of drinks and catch-up with some old friends.

This simple task was quickly extrapolated into an evening of cocktails and cool tunes, followed by trashy drinks and even trashier music. Venga Bus anyone?

Fortunately, the waves of emotion that I feared would encroach on my weekend if it involved drinking did not descend upon me, and I had a thoroughly enjoyable evening of good company and good dance times. And I must've been looking pretty foxy as I was felt up significantly more than usual. Skinny jeans, be ye the bringer of my '09 mojo? Although I will say that (for some bizarre reason) the men on the RG dance floor at 4am were a rotten lot. One such man had the audacity to tell me to stop twirling, while another man performed some incredibly horrific break dancing. On the dance floor that was so filthy that when I dropped money on it, I declined to pick it up.

It should be noted that there was one thing I did not fail miserably at this weekend. All I wanted to do was lie on a blanket and stare at some trees. Big tick! Had a beautiful Brisbane picnic by the river in Hawthorne with two of my fabulous lady friends, drank lots of sparkling mineral water and had some damn fine goats cheese. It was utterly delightful and exactly what I needed to face the week ahead. I also had a very nice moment driving along the Riverside Expressway rocking out to Magic Dirt's Dirty Jeans. An old favourite that I find myself reconnecting with in a big way.

So I think as far was weekends go, this one was a highly successful failure.

I Like to Buy Things. . .

Posted on 13 April, 2009 by Anne

I have to confess that the vast majority of my Easter Monday was spent in abject misery. Aside from my body feeling like it is going to explode from itchiness and trying to diffuse a great big bucket of girly angst (Fiona Apple has assisted immensely) it has been bleak and rainy all day.

In between the sleeping, the moping, the 'clearing-out-of-my-physical-space-to-create-more-positive-energy', the meeting of lady-friends for coffee, grocery shopping and cooking I somehow managed to squeeze in a rather impressive moment of retail therapy. Twenty minutes at Jindalee DFO found me a nice tight and o-so-sexy black sequin mini dress for the bargin basement price of $39.95. And I sighted two pairs of practical, yet social-work-funky shoes that will be purchased once I have received my $900 tax bonus.

I am currently happily placing all of my outlandish retail-therapy/shopping-addiction purchases under the banner of Patriotism. After all, I am only doing my civic duty supporting our economy and what not. I am so glad that Kevin Rudd has given me such a crafty way of excusing my consumerist excess. Makes all of those pesky ethical and practical questions in the back of my head surrounding my slightly mad impulse spends so much easier to muffle.

I personally blame Weight Watchers. They helped me lose lots of weight, necessitating a new wardrobe, which consequently gave me an insatiable need to look fabulous. A need that can only be met by the wearing of foxy little dresses, short skirts, scarves and loads of appropriately co-ordinated bling. And considering that my work clothes consist of jeans and t-shirts, my only outlet for outfit-fabulousness is on weekends. Hence, I am compelled to frock-up, often inappropriately, at the drop of a hat. Although, I should point out that I have some pretty nice looking t-shirt and jean combos for work.

I felt a little bit embarrassed on Saturday, when in a fit of shopping madness (yes, okay, it was retail therapy) I walked away with a purple clutch, a super-hot-grab-me-dance-with-me-then-passionately-kiss-me purple dress and a purple mobile phone. This would have been perfectly okay except that at the time I was wearing a dark denim mini, a black shirt, bright purple tights and purple scarf. But can I just say, that I was into purple well before this season. Indeed, I have been buying purple from as early as 2006 (I am rather irritated at the minute because the purple leather gloves I wore last season are now too big for me). It is just that there is a whole lot more purple out there at the moment . . .

Dammit. I made myself bleed from itching. I am in hell!!

Up side, down side.

Posted on 20 January, 2009 by Anne

So my week long birthday celebrations are finally over. It's been fairly intense. But intensely fabulous. Although the fall-out is still making itself known.

I broke my body clock. I broke my manicure. And I bruised my legs. And the post-cocktail, samosa and pizza weigh in has been a little bit rough. But I would not take the week back for anything.

I think I can safely say that my fabulousness was celebrated to its fullest. And in my post-birthday reflections, I think I can finally declare that my heart is back open for business. I feel quite excited about throwing myself back into the fray but I am facing one small hitch.

I need a weekend off.

I am disturbed because in a few days it will be the Australia Day long weekend and I do not have any plans. I need some time out, but shouldn't a fab lady such as myself have at least one evening of craziness to look forward to this weekend? I am torn between seeking out an adventure and resting and being good for three days.

What a dilemma! The life of a 20-something can be so difficult at times. Sigh.

Confession.

Posted on 27 December, 2008 by Anne

It is not often that I confess there is a part of my life which requires another person. But there is this one thing I just cannot seem to manage on my own. Zippers.

I spent $200 on a dress today based on the assumption that I would be able to do it up with someone else's help. It's an absolutely stunning dress. Pink silk, and oh-so-Bollywood.

I have always had issues with zippers – but it has worsened of late. It seems that now I must squeeze 12D to DD boobs into size 12 dresses. YAY! I've gone down a dress size. YAY! I still have boobies. BOO! They don't quite fit into my tops and dresses. The whole process is entirely unattractive and involves lots of huffing and puffing. And someone else in my life to zip me up. Thank god I live at home and can rely on my mother for this sort of thing. I'm going to be in terrible strife when I eventually move out.

On a completely unrelated note, my 2009 horoscope – according to InStyle, an authority on these matters – has freaked me out in its seeming relevance. Well, I am not sure about relevance, but it certainly hooked into some emotions I was feeling about the year to come. This will probably make a bit more sense when I publish the new years resolutions I started drafting earlier in the week – but just take a look.

Capricorn

Love: This year, your relationships will morph unbelievably – and ultimately for the better. You're more likely than ever to find your soulmate, yet self-reliance is the core concept as you evolve into the creature of your dreams. As your sense of personal pride develops, you will not put up with one moment of being diminished by a partner. You feel more resilient for applying a tougher set of standards, Encounters with your admirers are highly charged, emotionally and erotically [Woohoo!]

Happiness: You start the year with action-planet Mars in your sign: A fantastic omen for a year of hitherto undreamt of verve and success. Never mind what others are doing. You're thriving by your wits, determined resilience and nerve. New knowledge or skills bring acknowledgment. October onward is when you begin to score the security you desire, along with recognition and opportunities. A transit of Venus enhances real estate and home bliss in the first half of 2009.

Stye: Fads are beneath the classic Capricorn style. Strong bones and good health are the core of your beauty, and January/February is a brilliant time to begin a program of self-care: regular Pilates [I have been wanting to do this for a month and asked for vouchers for xmas - which I didn't get!] or booking all your maintenance appointments for the entire year in one organised go. This year, as all your astro is about becoming stronger and being fiercely independent, choose looks that empower you.

Meet Mr. Piggy

Posted on 26 October, 2008 by Anne

I got him recently to help me save money. He cost $25. Although, he has already been singled out for a lucrative career in iStock photo modeling, so that's a positive, even though I don't get any royalties.

I need to do some seriously detailed budgeting. Things have gotten waaaay out of control the last couple of weeks. I just don't understand where all of the money is going . . . I mean, sure, I just bought a table cloth even though I don't have a table – but it was only $17.95! And it was in a colour and fabric I greatly admired . . . Spotlight is a dangerous place.

And it gets worse, I have set my sights on a rather pricey camera lens for my travels next year. I have no idea how I am going to afford it and pay off debts and save money for a house at the same time. Oh! And my car needs to be serviced next month!! Grumble. Grumble.

Actually I've been a bit grumbly this weekend. I am fairly sure the root of my grumbleness was getting my period and yeast infection on the same day (Was that too much? I don't care, it's my friggin' website). And then having to drop $80 at the pharmacy (my pill is not on the PBS). Although, can I say that these one-tablet anti-fungals are a miracle cure, I am so impressed. This ultimately led to me not being able to have the pedicure/massage I so rightly deserve after my incredible weight-loss efforts. I mean what is the point of having a hot body if I can't treat it to wonderfully decadent non-food related things?

That's it!! I'm giving myself a facial tonight!

And helping my mother make Christmas cake. And packing for my work trip to Sydney this week. And sewing some Secret, Yet Awesome Christmas Presents. Fuck.

I don't think I'm going to manage that facial.

Grrrrrr.

Success!

Posted on 29 June, 2008 by Anne

Well, I've done it!

I've given my dog a terrible haircut because I cannot afford to send her to the groomer. I think that makes me an official Thrifty Dog Mum. I only got about half way through because I couldn't be bothered trimming her whole head. So basically, she has a pancake face.

She has been wandering around looking mildly embarrassed for most of the evening. But I think if I give her wet food tomorrow, all will be forgiven.