The End of (online) Dating?

Posted on 22 June, 2010 by Anne

Recently, the following went down on Facebook ….

Who is that guy? Well, Paul happens to be my father. And his comment? Did not immediately feel G-rated. It was! But for a moment there I felt worried that it wasn't.

My poor parents. Sometimes my singleness seems to utterly confound them. So much so that when I told my mother I was internet dating, she actually seemed relieved. I'm not sure how she's going to take it when I tell her that by and large, internet dating has proven completely fruitless and I'm getting ready to 'take a break'. Also that I recently made what I would consider the nerdiest book purchase in the world (my rationale being: "well, as a single woman who writes about her life, it's important that I understand the discourse to which I contribute. Plus, as a social worker, I can tax deduct it!").

The particular dating website I have been using – the serious 'you-pay-money-and-get-personality-tested' one has definitely an interesting experience. You see, on this site you don't just message people – you undergo a process of 'guided communication'. As ridiculous as it is, it actually kind of works. For example, there was the guy who asked me (in multiple choice format) how I felt about traditional gender roles. Never heard from him again.

Or there was the guy who listed punctuality as a 'must have' characteristic of a potential partner. *cough*

My favourite was a guy who listed "cleanliness" as a 'must have' and "poor personal hygiene" as a 'can't stand'. As I sent my responses I glanced at the mountains of clothes on my floor, reflected on my most recent fridge magnet purchase ("we can't both look good – it's me or the house") and thought to myself – gee, he's probably not going to like me. And true to form as communication 'blossomed' and I mentioned that I didn't really like bush walking – I never heard from him again.

Which begs the question – do I really have to fake an interest in bushwalking just to get a man? Because I really don't want to.

Exasperated. Sigh.

Still, No Man June seems to be going well. I just had my first 100% man free weekend in like, forever. Instead of sex/kissing/flirting, I crafted. Perhaps I can replace men with sewing projects?

As if my bulging wardrobe didn't have enough problems. Still, a good fabric stash, a bunch of thrifted patterns and a brand new battery operated device might just get me through the rest of the month.

Indeed, I might even find time to play a bit of Wii.

Taking a Moment.

Posted on 17 November, 2009 by Anne

Last night I suggested to my housemate that we should consider transmitting a live video feed from within our house. I felt this was important because our lives are so gosh darn exciting. I was refilling a dishwand at the time. True to form, my housemate one upped me by dropping fetta down her bra. However, for some strange reason she was not open to the notion of putting our lives on display.

I have to confess I am often struck by how comfortably dull my life can be. Last night I crafted for three hours. Lost in the task, my mind considered nothing but the precise measurement and placement of fabric. I love sewing. It is all about basic maths, measurement and design. It is like doing a series of increasingly challenging puzzles. AND! You get to look at something pretty in the end. Alright, sure, I sometimes have to spend a considerable amount of time unpicking stitches and sure, I sometimes cry and bleed. But it is ultimately a very satisfying process. It is completely removed from the world of social work, where things come together in a neat and functional way considerably less often.

So what's my point? My point, dear Interwebs, is that more often than not my life is considerably less exciting and glamourous than is portrayed on this weblog. Indeed, any hint of excitement and glamour is perhaps more reflective of my ability to tell a story five different ways. And you know me, I love spinnin' a good yarn. But this morning I find myself embracing and luxuriating in the dull. And you know, it is a luxury, being able to briefly stop your busy life and enjoy the moments of boring domesticity and time spent absorbed in interests and hobbies. I think it's actually pretty cool. So my dearest, loveliest readers, I urge you to spend a few minutes today appreciating some wonderfully dull aspect of your life. It may be filling out a form, photocopying, folding sheets and towels, staring blankly out a window on the train, anything! For these are the moments we never record, but they give us much needed respite from our lives.

(Personal Insight: it just occurred to me that perhaps this is why I love doing my laundry so, so much?)

Little Miss Thrift.

Posted on 13 June, 2009 by Anne

Day Four of my not-so-swine flu saw me arise feeling slightly less shite, which was very exciting. To celebrate, I got out of bed, showered, put on clothes that were not pajamas, acessorised, had a cocktail of pseudoephedrine and Coke Zero and headed to my local library. Why? Well, apart from generating the odd blog entry, and in between all of the coughing and the napping, my week has been spent absorbing craft/sewing blogs (and vlogs!). I have gained much inspiration, but did not quite have the energy to haul my ass out of bed to my 'sewing station'. I have also been slowly clawing my way through the Thrift Book (you know, the one I impulse purchased pre-GSD), which has served to make me more excited about sewing and crafty things in general. It was the following quote that got me nodding along vigorously:

“Add the not insignificant fact that you’re peacefully sitting at home, fully engaged and being creative and self-sufficient, rather than running about town spending money and acquiring hangovers”

Yes, I may be about to go 'full-nanna'. But at least I will remain a Nanna with a penchant for good wine and gentlemen who know how to show a lady a good time.

I haven't been to the library in years and yes, I had to pay $6 worth of fines from goodness knows how long ago. Those folk at the Brisbane City Council Libraries, they never forget. I love libraries, there's something about the smell of books and the quest for knowledge that I just find absolutely intoxicating. But yesterday was the first time I walked into a library and could almost smell the Thrift. And I am embarrassed to say, I found it quite exciting.

Now, I am not sure I would ever consider Thrift sexy, but when you are trying to change the way you do things, finding a useful tool is very exciting. I've grown up around books, and I love buying them. My parents are very much 'book people', with the Lifeline Bookfest my mother's idea of heaven. I have discovered one of the byproducts of being privileged with plenty is that the concept of borrowing things like books is not something you are ever exposed to. My father is now at a point in his life where even the concept of renting DVDs is beneath him – "Why rent when you can buy?".

Unfortunately the income of a community-based social worker and a GP are very different and my motto must now be – "Why buy when you can rent on a $2 Tuesday?". In my father's defense he does buy ex-rental DVDs, which are much cheaper than the new ones. Although he has now started buying Blu-Ray . . .

I wandered in a flu haze through my local library being impressed with the different levels of Thrift on display. I think the most impressive examples were the elderly gent coming in to read the paper, or the women borrowing magazines. And while I am not sure I will ever be ready to borrow magazines from the library, I am absolutely ready to borrow 'how-to' books with the express intention of photocopying relevant sections. And while I do harbour some guilt around this and feel that it is perhaps a bit too 'tight-arsed' – I just don't have the cash to buy the books, or pay for sewing lessons.

So I walked out of the library with a pile of sewing and quilting books and a feeling of mild guilt. But also a feeling of self-importance and piousness, which I suppose counter-balances the guilt of copyright infringement. I put a hold on Flirting with Finance, so hopefully that will help me get to a point where I can start buying books again. Although I suspect I will find it patronizing, in the way books written to explain finance to women generally are. But at least I won't have paid for it.

My Sewing Machine – Martha

Posted on 9 June, 2009 by Anne

This post is designed to contribute to Sew, Mama, Sew!'s Sewing Machine Meme.

I have a Janome Decor Computer 3050, that I have affectionately named Martha. I got her for Christmas last year after teaching myself to sew using my mother's 1970s Elna, which I used to create aprons for people's Christmas presents. As she was a Christmas gift I am not exactly sure of the cost, but I suspect it was somewhere between AUD$600-700.

I am still very much a beginner sewer, and I am loving this machine. So far I have used it for cushion covers, plastic bag holders, some basic patchwork and clothing alterations. I am working up to dress making, more sophisticated home decor design and production and more elaborate patchwork. I have complete confidence in this machine to take me there, and have been nothing but impressed so far. I do not sew as much as I would like – finding time is a big a problem, but when I do it is for long and fairly intensive sessions.

What do I love about this machine? It is ridiculously easy to use. In fact, it makes the physical act of sewing almost boring because it is so straight forward. To make a button hole, I plonk the button in the foot, select a button-hole stitch, put my foot on the peddle and it just happens. Blows. My. Mind. I also totally adore the overedging stitch, which I bought the fancy foot for that makes it even easier. And changing feet – easy as! I have to confess that as a beginner sewer the concept of thread tension confuses and overwhelms me. The fact that this machine has an automatic tension setting removes a fair bit of anxiety. There are many more little things that make this machine fabulous, and as I learn to sew more complex items, I continue to be pleasantly surprised. It is certainly a step up from my mother's Elna!

I would definitely recommend this machine to other beginners, it is so easy to use the idea of 'sewing' becomes much less scary. When I make people things I almost feel bad taking credit for them because the machine makes it so easy – anyone could do it!

Although I am aware that this is a more expensive machine so it might not be accessible to everyone. When looking for a machine you really need to think about what you want to use it for, and how long you want to use it for. This machine was bought for me, but I have to confess it is exactly what I would've bought for myself. I can definitely say – try before buying! The people at the specialist shops are so friendly and helpful, and will probably let you have a play on the machines. Longevity is very important for me, I see sewing as a skill that I will use throughout my life, so I want a machine that will last! By all accounts I should get 10 – 15 years out of this machine, so I am pretty happy with that.

With any luck, Martha and I will be together for many years to come.