I would like to think that by now, my up and down relationship with The Universe has been well documented. I have often commented on how, in those rare moments of sheer contentment and self-satisfaction, I seem to have an uncanny ability to do something incredibly silly. You know, like fall over in public and bleed in my stockings.
One recent example of this was on a jaunt to a night club where, in the critical 'pull' moment, when the chosen young man was expressing his adoration in that shocked sort of way they sometimes do – a bit of glass got into my shoe and I bled all over the dance floor. I then had to drag the poor fellow along on a quest to retrieve a band aid from the bar staff. A quest, I might add, which was surprisingly difficult to fulfil. So much for grace, poise and feminine mystique. Sure I was a hottie, but I was a hottie who would not rest until she had received appropriate incident management from the publicans. Dammit.
Oh, and lets not forget my recent 'first day of work' moment, when striding towards my bus in my snazzy 'first day of work' outfit, I promptly fell over in the middle of Adelaide Street. I'd slipped in the wet. In my thongs. My mother later assured me that it was okay, because at least I had high heels in my handbag. She would've hated the idea of me falling over in public without high heels being involved. (How could I tell her about the time I fell down a flight of stairs at a pub and broke my wrist wearing Converses?)
Now, there are those who might say that I'm just clumsy, but I like to think of these moments as "The Universe Keeping It Real". Little reminders of my own humanity and general level of dorkiness. They're The Universe's little way of making sure I never get too big for my boots. Which is fine, I just wish it didn't leave quite so many bruises.
But imagine my surprise when discussing the 'first day of work' incident with my family, and they all piped up with their own little Universe Keeping It Real stories. There was my mother, who when walking towards her place of work feeling all sassy and fashionable had one of her stay-up stockings fall down. She then had to drop everything and pull it up in the middle of the carpark. In front of a school boy.
And then there was my little brother, who when attempting to be all 15 and oh-so-nonchalant on the bus, proceeds to get his bag stuck in the seats and then have his Go Card fly out of his wallet when he tried to swipe off. And then I remembered that that sort of thing used to happen to me on the bus all the time. In fact, it still does.
That's when I realised – it's a family thing.
We're all nerds with occasional shots at being cool, but never quite pulling it off thanks to some kind of innate (and possibly genetic) ability to always appear a bit silly. I guess at least we can comfort each other and laugh at ourselves. Because that's all you can do when you have foolish moments in public, pick yourself up, have a bit of a smile, and move on. Afterall, it's just the Universe Keeping It Real.