I never thought it was possible for something to be spectacularly bad and incredibly awesome all at the same time. That was until I saw NKOTBSB*.
I’m not even sure how to begin describing this concert experience…..
You know every boy band parody you’ve ever seen? Well, it was just like that. But for real.
Somewhere between the stage fireworks, leather pants, pelvic thrusting, and screaming fans the only thing that kept running through my head was this …
I mean, not only did they bafflingly open the concert with a Coldplay cover, this is what happened next (luckily for me, they have done the same show across the world, so it’s very easy for me to share this with you) …
Don’t get me wrong. I definitely had fun. I laughed, I danced, and I sang. But I also stood there self-righteously as they ruined all of my favourite songs by mixing in tracks by different artists.
I mean, at what point did someone think it was necessary to insert 30 seconds of Push It by Salt’n'Pepper at the climax of Step By Step? That was the first pop song I ever truly loved. Imagine, if you will, six year old Anne dancing around her living room to this on repeat 1 for an entire summer.
That song was the only reason I wanted to see NKOTB, and they bloody ruined it.
And while I’m having a gripe – what kind of sadistic stylist thinks it’s okay to put a man in his late thirties into pink fluro sneakers? Fluro sneakers only work for people under 22. Ageing pop stars are the last people who should be wearing them. Poor Brian, he seemed like one of the nicer, more talented BSBs – why would they humiliate him like that?
And oh my goodness. The ballads! How could I have forgotten about all of the boy band ballads? I guess I had always considered them filler before getting to the good stuff. Although – some of you may remember this BSB remix from back in the day. If you don’t, get ready to laugh. This is possibly one of the funniest things on the internet. And I used to have it on CD!
And I have to say, Kev was notably absent from the performance. BSB just weren’t the same without his deep dulcet tones and luscious eyebrows. Sigh.
If I hadn’t paid over $100 to see them (and another $100 for my NKOTB hoodie), I’d have felt very sorry for all those ageing pop stars. As it stands, I enjoyed singing and laughing along, and I live in hope that they were perhaps taking the piss out of themselves a little bit too.
* For the uninitiated NKOTBSB stands for New Kids On The Block and the Backstreet Boys. Or thereabouts. I think there is a B missing in there somewhere.