My Unrequited Loves

Unrequited love could easily be described as my forte. When I look back over the years there really have been an impressive number of men that I’ve managed to lose my head over and have it all come to nothing. You could almost say I was somewhat of an expert.

My first unrequited love was Isaac Hanson. He was perhaps the least good looking and most decidedly dorky of the pop trio, and I knew, in that way only a 14 year old girl can know, that we were destined to be together.

Alas, he never returned my letters and ultimately married some other Hanson fan.

Since then my list of unrequited loves has grown longer, and still clearly reflects my taste for rather dorky men. Actually, when I look back, they all bear a eerie similarity to Isaac, in one way or another. And much like Isaac, they have all followed a pattern of falling for women slightly more conventional than myself. All of whom, have been brunettes.

For the most part though, this has been for the best. When the broken heart heals and you can finally relate to those former ‘loves’ as friends, you usually realise that you never would have suited each other anyway. It’s a strange feeling to spend time with someone you used to adore, and feel totally confident that you would have made them completely miserable. It’s a sense of closure that I have become quite accustomed to. That is until my latest, and perhaps most ridiculous unrequited love (apart from dear Isaac, of course) was revealed to be engaged. To my clone.

I can handle the inherent but intentionally ignored incompatibility that accompanies the vast majority of my Unrequiteds, but circumstance and timing? That is so much harder to deal with. While she is not physically my clone, by all accounts there are degrees of similarity in temper, humour and rampant inappropriateness that are difficult to ignore. Now I can only take solace in knowing that my instincts were right. Albeit ill-timed.

That, and having the knowledge that nice, dorkish men do fall for outspoken, vaguely inappropriate women such as myself. We just need to be really, really patient. Like, until our mid-thirties patient.

The trick remains not to get too distracted or put off by all the jerks along the way.

If any of you figure out that trick, please let me know. I need to share it with the world.

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