I just stumbled upon the following words in the depths of my hard drive. The date stamp reads "1/10/2009 10:43pm" and the title "Typology of Love".
It's pretty dated, but they were exactly the right words I needed to stumble into tonight. So I thought I best publish them unedited for posterity.
Sometimes, it feels like the whole love thing is just a party someone threw that I wasn’t invited to.
Love is so fundamental to the human experience that we are bombarded by it every day.
When you’ve never experienced a particular ‘type’ of love you always seem to feel like you’re missing out on something.
I suspect there are many different types of love, so many in fact that I wish the English language had a few more words to describe it.
There is that comforting and occasionally stifling love you receive from a parent. And the somewhat conflicted, duty-bound and adoring love you give back to them. Then of course there is that strange love between siblings, a mix of jealously, competition, irritation and unwavering loyalty.
There is love you feel towards your pets, full of caring, nurturing and occasional rage as you scrub their urine out of the carpet. There is the love for the Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents who are always ready to spend time with you, or give you lollies and chocolate. We love them in a way we could never love our parents, because they never discipline us.
The love you feel for your friends, without whom the world we be a much scarier place. A love born out of choice and constructed with a fierce loyalty and an ease of communication that provides a safe haven from a strange and confusing world.
The love you feel towards your vocation, your passion in life. This is the love that drives you. There is the love you feel towards places, cities, countries. A reflection of the complex interplay of sights, sounds, smells and memories of your time there.
Unrequited love is an old friend of mine. The words agony and ecstasy both come to mind when remembering my not too distant past experiences of this.
I have experienced all of the above at one point or another. That’s pretty impressive really, that’s a whole lotta love. But there a couple that are still missing. The love you feel for a child, and the shared love with a partner.
The former I am more than happy to wait for, but the latter. The latter is what keeps me up at night.
I wrote this to remind myself of all the other love I have in my life. To remember the sheer ridiculousness of my angst.
But it occurs to me that all of us pine for the love we do not have. Because we are missing something, maybe a parent, a sibling, a partner, a child, a friend, or a really rockin’ wardrobe. This perceived absence of love seems to really stuff us around. So maybe it is good to take a moment to think about all of the love we already have. Remember the strengths and anchors in our lives, rather than what we’re desperately trying to reach out for. It’s a fairly solid bet that most of us already have some pretty fabulous loves in our life, if we ever happen to glance at them.