Lately I've been feeling a bit teary whenever I write down the date. April? How the flip can it be April?? And the second half of April??? Urrrgh.
And I tell ya what, it's been a busy three and a half months. There's been three illicit liaisons (none of which were particularly satisfying); one (maybe two) romantic false starts; one v proud 'get the fuck out of my life' moment; two online dating profiles; one UTI; the commencement of one Masters degree; one domestic revolution; one funeral; one wedding; three unfinished blog posts; one signed contract; and one application for a home loan (the outcome of which is to be determined). And don't even get me started on all of the crochet.
No wonder I'm exhausted.
And while I am rather bemused at myself for naively transferring all the energy I was spending on partying and 'looking for love' into my career, studies and the accumulation of property, I cannot help but wonder – what the fuck was I thinking? Seriously.
I made an offer on a flat, am now under contract and can safely say that I have never been more anxious in my life. I've just had half a bottle of wine and it's only Tuesday.
A healthy thing to do? No. Probably not. Necessary? Absolutely.
And even though I still have eight whole months left in the year, I cannot escape those tiny moments of dread when I consider just how much I still have to cram in. Somehow I feel incredibly guilty about all the things I wanted to do this year but haven't got to yet. Like learning how to ride a bike or taking better care of myself and my body. And while I know I am my harshest critic and I just need to CTFO (Chill The Fuck Out – it's a thing. I'm starting it), I am struggling to make it a reality.
As I continue to plug my way through the year, here a few of tunes that I've been rocking to that are helping me through. And while I know they don't really make for a very coherent blog post, I think that's okay. I'm not particularly coherent at the moment anyways. Oh and the last song – it's sheer liquid wonderment. Just FYI.