Recently, the following went down on Facebook ….
My poor parents. Sometimes my singleness seems to utterly confound them. So much so that when I told my mother I was internet dating, she actually seemed relieved. I'm not sure how she's going to take it when I tell her that by and large, internet dating has proven completely fruitless and I'm getting ready to 'take a break'. Also that I recently made what I would consider the nerdiest book purchase in the world (my rationale being: "well, as a single woman who writes about her life, it's important that I understand the discourse to which I contribute. Plus, as a social worker, I can tax deduct it!").
The particular dating website I have been using – the serious 'you-pay-money-and-get-personality-tested' one has definitely an interesting experience. You see, on this site you don't just message people – you undergo a process of 'guided communication'. As ridiculous as it is, it actually kind of works. For example, there was the guy who asked me (in multiple choice format) how I felt about traditional gender roles. Never heard from him again.
Or there was the guy who listed punctuality as a 'must have' characteristic of a potential partner. *cough*
My favourite was a guy who listed "cleanliness" as a 'must have' and "poor personal hygiene" as a 'can't stand'. As I sent my responses I glanced at the mountains of clothes on my floor, reflected on my most recent fridge magnet purchase ("we can't both look good – it's me or the house") and thought to myself – gee, he's probably not going to like me. And true to form as communication 'blossomed' and I mentioned that I didn't really like bush walking – I never heard from him again.
Which begs the question – do I really have to fake an interest in bushwalking just to get a man? Because I really don't want to.
Still, No Man June seems to be going well. I just had my first 100% man free weekend in like, forever. Instead of sex/kissing/flirting, I crafted. Perhaps I can replace men with sewing projects?
As if my bulging wardrobe didn't have enough problems. Still, a good fabric stash, a bunch of thrifted patterns and a brand new battery operated device might just get me through the rest of the month.
Indeed, I might even find time to play a bit of Wii.